Sway away from you all!!!!!

I wish i could just run away from your house!

WTF with my life?

Ya, i don't feel enough? Or that isn't all i need?

I don't want credit card, I don't want US, I don't want you controlling me!

I want back my life! FUCKERS!all are fuckerS!!!

What's my age? 21? Still need people to guide me? Control me? come home! If you wanna stay out, stay away from my house! I wish I could! I wish that I don't need you guys anymore! I wish I could run away from this house! From this place where everyone is against me! Stopping me to do things I wanna do! If he is not alan? Do you think you will just let me do what ever I wanna do? Hell yeah! You have a limit! Go ahead! I don't need the limit! all these while there is no one care about my life, care about what I'm doing! Left me alone in my own world! I wish I am in my own world, that I could get rid of you all! Who will understand me? Who the hell I can talk to? Talk to alan? Talk to you all? Fuck away! I wanna live by my own! I don't need anyone ! now I don't want US!What if i just fuck it up? What if I just run away from this house? I am thinking! This is seriously on my head! That I wish I could do it! 

WTF with investigation?

Do I always make you feel that I am investigating you when I am asking you a question?
I am just curious over things, and I didnt always ask you about things like those you didn't wanna say.
You just getting pissed of when answering, and those questions are always some silly question for you!
So better shut my mouth off and don't ask right?
I am getting very very moody la! and I don't know why you get so piss off some time! maybe you are stress with your work or what so ever! hate the way you treat me when you are not in a good mood! You shouldn't treat me in a different way with your different mood!idiot!

Am I a little too slow??

Well, it has been a few times you told me you don't want me to email you, you took my address, and you asked why I stop writing you love letter?

Till last night only i realize, you were asking me for a love letter! hRmmMm, I should say, is time for me to write you a love letter! I was reading those paper you gave me, your words killed, and you are really a sweet guy. Those things you wrote when you asked me back, you asked me twice! IN 2 YEARS!LOL! you were saying sorry and feeling guilty each time you wrote it! Will it repeat again? I hope there is no more 3rd time! 

I keep thinking, what should I write! and what should I prepare for you! Maybe just a card, showing appreciation towards you! I do appreciate  that you want me back. We do have the chance to be back together! I do appreciate that you listen to me! you avoid fighting with me, and I can feel that! We both are starting to do something don't we? I hope it last! Listening to each other, that is most important! 

The saving thingy I told you, do you think you want it to happen? It is kinda sweet. You know, it is like a deal and a insurance for both of us. Do we actually need this to keep our relationship? Actually that isn't the only thing, it is a way to save money too. If we both are going to be together, I mean forever, we should have saving don't we? Those future things, I don't wanna think! All I appreciate, is to be with you right now! You will always be my baby!

Don't feel left out!

Sun Siew Din!!!!

Why You always easily feel left out?

Why you always easily get depressed?

Why you always blame others for what you are right now?

Why you always don't feel enough for things with you?

Why you always say that they don't love you?

Then you tell me, who loves you?

Alan?

ArHhh.... Papa mama kor kor jie jie all loving you!

Is the matter that!YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF!!!!

When things are not the way you want it, you will start thinking that, they are trying to stop you!

When things you wish to be like is not where it is, you will start blaming everyone that, they are challenging you!

Where are you?

Where's yourself?

Stop using this brain to think silly ridiculous thingy!

And, where is your direction?

DO YOU LOVE WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?

What you should study, and is that the thing you should continue?

AND NOW THERE IS NO RETURN! you have to continue it, and do it !!!!

寻找自己！我在哪?

总是觉得我做任何事都是为了讨好你，

我是吗？。。。。渺茫！

我的去向， 到底是哪？

我总是很努力的做好自己， 

总是很勤劳的把自己的最好给你，

无论是多辛苦， 我都希望我不会埋怨。

但是， 你真的是太小气了。

是你特地想骂架 ， 还是你怎了？

我不知如何维持！

还是次我们骂架， 我都会崩溃的呢？

Demanding-love is blind!

I have this feeling, you started to be so demanding, and I'm starting to lose myself. I will do what you ask me to. For the sake of, don't fight anymore! Isn't that losing myself? I don't mind when you ask me stop talking to those guys who has the intention towards me last time, chee hou, jhunnie. malcolm la. what so ever! But aren't you trying too hard to ask for things? Not even a hie, that is ridiculous. I didn't fight it back, cause I am used to it! 

I don't mind when you are telling me these things. You are asking something from me, but, this is too demanding. I just worry about the future, I can't balance myself anymore. Sometimes I should have stand still for what I want. My right! Like you did. To protect yourself. You said you trust me, but not those people, this is silly you know? I can tell you, you don't trust me at all. If you do, you will never worry about these. 

You say you weren't mad. But the way you talk, I can sense that, one more word I say wrongly, you will burst! that is the mad! 

Love is blind? I can really listen to you like this? I am doubt! PLease tell me, you do listen to me?! I hope whatever I say, you will listen! 

Feeling to say!

Current condition: Sick Head! ArHh.... I hate flu ~~

Suppose to post a lot of new stuff here, but after few days, I have no idea what I want to say right now!

2nd MAY: Handicap people: Will you lend your hand when you see a handicap uncle, or what so ever, lying down by the road side, and asking for donation? What is your point of view over this issue? I don't know why I feel like talking about this thing. The other day, when I was on my way to KL sentral monorial station, I passed by a corridor, and I saw a handicap uncle, lying down at the road side, asking for money. Looking at him, I feel sorry. He has no leg, by right, he should be at some center which help these people, instead of asking for help in these places. Suppose, I should just pay him some money. But I didn't. A few ladies in front passed by this guy, and turn back with the hands in the bag, pulling out one bucks to put into his "cup". But I did nothing! Should I feel ashamed? I don't know what to help, since I'm not a wealthy person, I need financial support too... Who help me? help myself! Work! In school? I want it! trying!

3rd MAY: Well, nothing special. Pendek and WK, you and me, we went to MV to watch Iron man. 

4th MAY: This is the day that you said you don't want to come out, manatau, we went to this Air Terjun chemang, whatever! 

Told you I can't swim but you said just go lepak, and I don't really know where are we going.... Somehow, is some adventure thingy. At least we did something when we were in KL. Some memories to keep? LOL!

我。。。死了！

爱你真的很辛苦，

你怎麽那么自私，

那么霸道，

那么不讲理，

那么不通气，

那么大男人，

我该怎么办？

放弃？

我不想!

这是挑战！

克服？ 

我做不到， 很难！

告诉我， 爱情本该那样的痛苦的吗 ？

我快要崩溃了， 再也找不回我自己了！