I ain't that alright!

I realize something now, feeling so different whenever looking at his pic.
He seems like a stranger for me, how close we both used to be, not an inch, but now back to square 1.
Who will understand my feeling? I don't think it is right to email him telling him all these.
Useless, helpless, nothing much can do.
Pretending, hate pretend to be like nothing, sometimes, distraction helps alot.
Distract me from thinking him, seeing him. It could probably makes me feel nothing.
Yet, it can't hold on. pretend to be nice to him? be good to him? be polite to him? mad yet i need to act like nothing? angry for things he said but I have to take those as a joke? telling haha, or ekek or jk?
can't see him with those around him. Humiliating me! Serious, yet, what can I do?pretend to be good, that is what I can do isn't?
With those word, those message, those testi he wrote, and he told me he is not really in love. How to believe? I guess I need not to believe him either. It is all over isn't? Those he said, I can take it as blah blah blah!
Or him want to tell me, he is pretending to be in love?LOL!I can't convince myself to believe these, those promises he made no longer exist! gone !FaithleSsssssss....What I can do is just let it all sway away!Am i right am i right?
No guys can be trusted!
yup, you are the only one i allowed you to read my post, but i am not purposely write this to you. Don't read it!

yup, here again twice a day!
fundamental attribution error! can i apply it here?
Don't judge book by its cover, true!
Whatever things you see, you listen, do not give you the real story behind.
Why do you wanna get so upset when things are not the way you want it?
Why do you wanna get so freak out when you see something you belongs no longer yours?
Why do you wanna get to piss off when you see people having their happy pictures around without you?
Not just personalities, the enviroments~~~It might not like the way you think.
Humanistic approach!People will try to gain self-actualization, and give others the thought that they are in the good condition.Yet, it could be a lie!
That I will be good!Even if I am nothing!

是什么理由可以让我继续守着我们的承诺?
是什么理由可以让我继续怀念我们的过去呢?
你不曾记得我们的一切,好像很奇怪的感 觉。
当局者迷，很有道理。
不和你在一 起，我看得更多，看得更开，不是好事吗?
从你的背阴，我看到我不想要的男生，
也看到我希望有的男生。
为有把思念当做乐趣，怀念当做享受，
从中学习，一切会更美好。