I ain't that alright!

I realize something now, feeling so different whenever looking at his pic.
He seems like a stranger for me, how close we both used to be, not an inch, but now back to square 1.
Who will understand my feeling? I don't think it is right to email him telling him all these.
Useless, helpless, nothing much can do.
Pretending, hate pretend to be like nothing, sometimes, distraction helps alot.
Distract me from thinking him, seeing him. It could probably makes me feel nothing.
Yet, it can't hold on. pretend to be nice to him? be good to him? be polite to him? mad yet i need to act like nothing? angry for things he said but I have to take those as a joke? telling haha, or ekek or jk?
can't see him with those around him. Humiliating me! Serious, yet, what can I do?pretend to be good, that is what I can do isn't?
With those word, those message, those testi he wrote, and he told me he is not really in love. How to believe? I guess I need not to believe him either. It is all over isn't? Those he said, I can take it as blah blah blah!
Or him want to tell me, he is pretending to be in love?LOL!I can't convince myself to believe these, those promises he made no longer exist! gone !FaithleSsssssss....What I can do is just let it all sway away!Am i right am i right?
No guys can be trusted!
yup, you are the only one i allowed you to read my post, but i am not purposely write this to you. Don't read it!