Get your ass up!!

SUN SIEW DIN!Don't feel bad about yourself!!!Yours haven't come, doesn't mean you are not good!He doesn't know how to appreciate you, is his weakness!!Stop looking down on yourself!I know i am greaT!!I will have a great personalities, stop comparing and start saying myself embarass myself!I know i will be good!

So fuck!

What the fuck?Staying home alone on saturday night?I wanna get rock, wanna go clubbing, wanna take fag, wanna be bad, wanna drink wanna indulge myself!!!!Fuck, i am lock out in this house!!!Fuck!!! I wanna release!I wanna fly....
Damn shit!went out and get fag, what a me huh?Since when getting so kuai?I have no idea why i acting like a good girl right now?I wanna get wildd!!!
Holyshit!!!How to settle down right now?I don't feel like sleeping nor resting, just dont wanna stay home!No mood studying, and how am i gonna take the mid term man?I am giving up right now!Serious!!!!Sometimes after straighten myself too long, i need a day to release!!!!fuck up!!!

The weird ME!

Getting fed up with this bastard!The more he act as a jerk, the more I think he is such a gentleman!I will start thinking why the hell on earth I treated him so good.And he can't do me a little favour!?!But now he is nothing at all!Fucker I can use to describe him.He is worthless for anyone to appreciate him!
Sometimes quite, sometimes crazy, sometimes seems like thinking, sometimes seems like angry!!!Why am I acting so weird? Seems like I don't get along with them huh?
Come on, I wanna be good!I will, I just hate my csc class!Beh tahan with some weirdo!They are more weird than me, why on earth I am mixing with these people?Dur!!!
More people are coming after me, of course not after me for relationship, but, as counsellor!Sigh!I hate these!I hate listening to people's love stories, people's problem.I will start thinking, no more love can be trusted!No more love is worth for people to love anymore!No more long lasting relationship!It won't be mine some how!!!I don't want it to happen again!No faith!all please go away!

New Inspiration!

Come one girl, look forward, the sun will shine!!!As what the who who philosophy, always look forward for the bright sun to shine, the dark and cloudy sky will fade away! And, you are the sun shine!
Don't think of loneliness, don't think of emptyness, don't think of comparison, don't think of winning! Think of things you want to win just for yourself, not winning the others.
You have your own life, and the future will be better. Tommorow will always the best. And you will never look back in anger, learn from the mistake and stand up again! I did it once, I can do it the second time. I am tough though. Don't be a weirdo! Behave!Control yourself from doing stupid things.
Don't get jealous over people, you got your own life, and so do people. That is why you can't compare after all. You will have your own in the future, is just right now, isn't the time. No worries and be happy!
The new inspriration, enjoy life, without ignoring the books. Although you are not the bookworms, but, you need book for the better life!Wake up wake up!Always think that you are the best, not him!not everyone!

Weirdo!

I was like!!!CREEP!
I don't know why I just can't take it.
Can't look at the picture of him.
Can't do things that related to him.
My heart will get pain.
Seriously, I don't know the reason.
I am fuck!
Stop viewing the friendster,
then I won't see him!!
Damn it!
Look at his friend,
I think of him.
Look at words he uses often,
I thought of him.
I need a BF!!!
To stop me from thinking of him!!!
It is all nonsense!

Getting use to be single...

Getting use to this new life, the single me, everyday. I was in a very good mood to write a blog last night, but time doesn't allowed me. But right now, my mind is just blank. I can't recall what I wanted to say.

It is not easy to stand up, I was all the while doing very good, till that day I message this jerk, concern about the earthquake?That is so so so ACTING??No, I am just concerning, I hope I am not doing too over.Is just an email. But I start thinking of him, thinking things not related to any "getting back" together issues. My heart is gone!For everyone, not even for myself. And I didn't aspect I will see Keith and roy, they have gave me a shocked. They brought back those memories. I was just thinking, I will just hang out with them whenever he is around, and now, I feel so different where I can't hang out with them, if I did, I will feel weird. Cause he is not there.

I should have my own network, my own friends. Where all these people? Staying in INTI almost 3 weeks, I don't really click with anyone. That makes me feel like I am alienated. I guess part of the reason is because I don't mix around. And I could hardly mix around also. Where is the real SUN SIEW DIN anyway? Now becoming so anti-social.Tired of meeting new people?Tired making new friends?Dur.....Where are those same channel people?I just don't click.They are active in school society, which I will think that are all wasting time programs. I hope this will be just the first semester syndrome,I will get along with new friends better in some day. I guess I can....And please, I don't know why I giving myself so many stress now, I am not kia shu, I am not fighting with anyone. I making all these as my goal, and I hope I can hit my goal. Please Please Please!!!YOU THINK YOU CAN,YOU CAN!!!!

Changing new hair styles because some one said you looked old?Damn it!!!I need self confident, which I think I do not have it~Making me keep comparing with others, and I just can't stop looking at them, and looking back at me myself.

Getting use to be single, in relationship of course, even in myself....from friends!

Busy Busy Busy?

Ooo,this will be the first post I've ever posted after the new beginning of my life, the so call college life. It is really screwing me up. Although is just the second week, I started to feel the scenario I've gone through in my form 6 life. Getting stress, where I feel that I can't really pay 100% full attention in class, which led to- I need to spend more time study on my own, and this really giving me too much, as I do hope I can do very good, not just pass and bye. Scholarship, that is my target!! Don't burden family too much! But somehow, I hope I don't make a wrong step taking 3 subjects here, the time table is pack, the assignment is a lot. Coming Coming Coming!!! Oh gosh!Please don't put me down!

Last few days, I realised something, about Jie and the 3 in US. She was so excited to talk to them, but compare to me, I am far more left behind, She will spend time chatting with them without saying tired, but I will spend time saying:" ok lah, stop here!" Look!! It is just so different, which I can see that, I am not close with them at all. What makes the different? Age? Or distance? Or times we used to spend together were different? When she asked:"why you have nothing to say with them?"and I wish I could answer I have!I just don't know why!