another one?

Kinda weird with you, am I right?Flirting only, not a big problem, don't think too much, stop imagine, cause it is all about playing and flirting!nothing much!bear in mind!
But I don't know why i will never say no to you, like what I will do to this Malcolm. Guess I feel comfort when you are around, not like this childish guy, hee!but you are kinda cute, can't deny that!when you smile, hee....nice teeth huh!no wonder you will complain about cece's teeth!You are so different infront of friends, and one by one with a friend,i assume that not just because you are infront me, i guess is to anyone!I don't know why i will hung out with you the whole night, a movie is ok, but after that, is like, wow!going to your place, worrying i will tell others we slept in a same bed?But nothing happened!if alan found out, how many thousand time we need to die?
Why am I so afraid of him?i care of you or i am still caring him?I don't think i am still thinking of him, but i just don't wish that something bad happend in between you friends, boycott stuff...blah blah blah~~~I don't wana be such a bad girl!Know when to back off sir?

Oh merry X'mas!

Merry X'mas!To my blog!Haha!To me!

So how was this year x'mas eve spent?dinner at home, what a suprise thing happened was, fong hiong ming was invited to this dinner,i don't know from no where this person was invited,haha!Cause all of us were boring, no plan at all.so we both gathered together.

Went out to find fd, cleaning their new house, this is the first time i feel like i am back to my old life, went out till morning only come back home. all the while driving car, fagging, like rocking the highway at kl, this is the first time. I am being myself?.....sigh!

Pool, futsball!wah lau!I need this life?i don't wanna be so normal, wanna be a little extraordinary from the eldest, be a normal as teenagers!why can't I be like that?is good to have a healthy lifestyle?fuck it!is not me at this time!no no no!

crapping all the while with those chu peng gou you!nice!i like this kind of friends, which i will never have any from inti!and guess isn't from the future also!dur....when only i can get this close friends from other gang of ppl?sigh!

Sigh a lot!damn lot!i am not satisfy for what i am right now?

x'mas present!3 little eeoh, piglet and tigger from ah mo and may jie, and also lun lun xavier!thanks to them!i just said it, didn't expect they will buy it!thanks to them a lot!i will hung it everynight!bring to US also!muacks!

Self Improvement needed!

Oh dear!What is happening to me?I am getting so depressed because i kept looking down on myself.Feeling helpless, with the character I am right now!The problems here, i started to realise that i am getting so weak in managing things, i can't do things right, i mean i can't handle things right, come on!Where am I?
Maybe this is me, and i do not know it but now. Keep looking down on myself.Can't speak good english?Weak vocabulary?Can't write an good essay? Keep looking for dictionary even for easy words?Oh gosh!!!
Come on, i need someone to encourage me, to motivate me.Self improve is what I need!I have to do this!
Not blaming ownself for things you did wrong, or things you can't do. In fact, I should find solution to overcome these circumstances.Whatever circumstances!
The coming semester, I know i should do very well, but i don't wanna force myself too much, isn't that good to balance my stress?I don't know if i could do it better.But what i know is, i have the goal i need to achive.That is, to be good in everything!Not comparing with people, is just that i need to overcome myself!Toefl text, i getting so worried, because through the exercise i did on the net, i felt it is a tough task for me to complete!
Piano, when semester reopen, i know i will have a little time to practise.Oh, I shouldn't waste that rm280 do i?motivation!Self motivation is what i need!
But i know myself too well, i know i will just give the blank cheque!From today onwards!I must keep my promise!I got to!Be a better me!

Lifeless!

Nothing happening to talk about?Is been awhile i didn't really write about my feeling, no more feeling?Nothing else to write?Nowadays, i got to think what to blog, compare to last time, no need to think but can blah everything.Not dating nothing to write d?Sigh!
Afraid~~to go back tpg, I don't know why and since when i started to have this feeling.Since i am single?Since i do not belong to tpg this town anymore?I really do not belong to this place?I will start to think nonsense, those feeling, those heartache feeling will come back to me, i will choose not to go back.Can't I let it go?I thought i did.I know i did, i just don't wish to recall those memories!Serious!No NO NO!!
Dur....I am lifeless!Totally!Nothing to write!Don't know what to write!Is that my life?!?!

I miss this!
Why lazy?
Because not hardworking!
Why hungry?
Because not full!

Sick of you!

Kevin, what is so wrong about you?Keep messaging those msg which brings misunderstanding between we both.I don't like giving hope or flirt around with you.Maybe I should apologise because I told you before, I am Flirtable!Sorry!Perhaps I am not!I don't like spending extra time for others.Those I don't care and those just a friend.Be specific!You are the one!Come on, this is not the first time, always like that!I made things clear, and now you come again."Hope that you are here to help me wear my tie"!Dur!Darling la, baby la!That is only the one i love is allow to use those words.Once awhile will be good, when it is too often, I am sick of it!
Ya, i purposely don't want to answer your call last 2 days. Purposely don't want to reply you. Cause i don't know what you are thinking about me. I don't want to give you hallucination!Or maybe if I am too sensitives.I hope I am!But i think i will always good in these, sense about these feeling!The other day, you msg me and tell me that some one is backmail-ing me, saying that i am not a good gf. I don't feel mad at all, in turns, you are the one got provoked!Showing such a big reaction saying that you will protect me la, standing by my side la!Come on!You are silly enough, if you are the one telling me all these, you will be a bad guy instead!Sounds like you are the one creating all those stories to let me think that you are a good person, i should rely on you or something!Dur!!!!If there are really things behind me, there are nothing to do with you. Am i a good gf or not?My future bf will know that!No need you to be worried!so, you said i am protective?towards myself?hell yeah of course!
And this Malcolm, hey silly man!I hate this kind of guy.Showing off enough, action enough, just know how to spend money, he did work. But his character is just not my type.Har!!!!Move away!I don't wish to get involve in any relationship, I am so tired of it!I don't know why I feel like a phobia already, got hurt enough!It is tired to love someone totally new again!I hate it!