What is love to me anymore?

"4 in the morning" by gwen stefani, is the song that will remind me and you, Alan! I don't know why i have such memories about us when I'm listening to this song, I remember that is the day i came to kl, and we were still fighting, i was messaging with you when I'm in the bus.
What is love? I message you last night, telling you i do not know how to love since you have left. That is true, I don't know what is love to me anymore. I don't feel like falling in love anymore, i just know you are the one i learn to love. I really wish to go back with you, badly. But sometimes i think back the mistake i have done, i shouldn't go with your friend, shouldn't do silly things! Which i know you will never forgive me! I really wanna tell you, please come back to me now. But when I'm considering the things i have done, i am really a bitch! You told me not to go out with any of your friend, but i don't know why i will just do it! I know you will get fucking mad about it, but i still do it! Why you are the only one can make me feel this way? feel like going back with you, obey you, listening to you, start worrying when you don't talk to me? Zhong zi those feeling that you will make me feel uncomfortable.
Can't i just give you up? i wish i can, i know i can! But when ever I'm in the relationship, i will feel that the one whom i go with love me more than i love him. compare to you, that is totally different! I really love you more than anyone else! You made my heart bumping fast, you made me breath hard! You made me suffocate!