Life means nothing?

At the age of 88, will you still wish to stay in this world? You are sick, you are alone, nothing much you can do when you staying at home, you don't talk to anyone, you will just keep calling your young grandchild to do things your way! But now, you don't even have the strength to talk to anyone, no energy to shout for your grandchild, not even standing on your own feet.Do you still wish to be alive?

Looking at my grandma, she is sick, real sick, getting old!I knew it!My tears kept dropping when i saw her, it was so different from the last time i saw her.She looks skinny, i can see her bone, just like a skeleton...OMG!I can't imagine that a person can be so weak condition in just 3 months times.That was the last time i've seen her....She can still talk, she can still understand.But now, hardly!

I don't know what we can do for her, wonder if i stay with her in this few months, will she gets well? The doctor said, this is old man sickness, can't cure, malfunction of her kidney, diabetics, can't do much except eating medicine. Ah ma keep saying:"why ppl sick eat medicine can cure, why can't i?". I don't know how to answer her. She makes me feel like she is a kid now. Always merajuk!Sometimes cute, but looking back, I don't wish I am her.

I love her, she is the one taking care of me when mummy was in US. Mummy loves her too, but she can't come back, once she is back, she can't get into US anymore. Furthermore, I can't continue my studies also....Hope ah ma will understand.I do start praying for ah ma, hopefully god will answer my prayer. I know nth much we can do now, yet, may ah ma have a peaceful heart to accept everything, hope she does not afraid, hope she can hold on!

I don't know is it bad to say this, I hope that she doesn't suffer.Not even a little.....Bless you maa...!