I just can't say it!

I just can't say it. And when I took the courage to tell you I wanna be back friend with you, FHM, u beg me to wait till 12 midnight. I'm too soft hearted, and you are too kind to me, that I dare not to say no to you again. I do feel bad when I'm with you, to continue the relationship with you, there are too many things we need to consider. You told me you don't care about Alan, your friendship with him. But I guess I'm the one cares about it. I'm not worrying that he will get mad on us, that is definately gonna happen someday. You and him were friend since kindergarden or primary am I right? I just don't wish to be the one who spoilt everything. If I'm no longer with you, you will just sacrify this friendship. Of course I wish that I'm always have this chance to be with you. I do feel like "trying you out", you are worth for me to fall to. Although I'm leaving to US, although I can't tell you what will happend in the future, but I do fall to you. I just like talking to you, you don't make me feel tense, compare to the past relationship i had, i feel comfortable with you. We can just say everything, and, I start to appreciate everything you do to me. thanks my dear. You always say things to make me feel better, I hope everything is true, I don't wish that you will lie to me, you know is hurt to know that someone you love just use you. I did experience it!