Speechless!

I don't know why I cried when i read your sms last night, you told me how much you miss me, how much you love me, how bad you are feeling! But i can't do anything. I mean, we both can't do anything though. I really wish to go back to the past, how much i miss those moment we were together. How much i wish i need not to go to US. but why can't you just wait for me? Why you wanna choose to break up and come back again? What is the reason to struggle so hard and get rid of each other but end up back to square one? I really hope i'm by your side. But, something just stop me from going back to you. That is, everything will be repeating again, worst scenario. The day you see i'm leaving. so why you wanna come back? I'm really speechless about us. Really love you a lot! But ....how bad we both feeling right now. Who else will know? Guess just only we both know it....